I've got a new gag. When people ask me what I do for a living (at the coffee shop), I tell them with a straight face that I'm a "Forensic Phrenologist" -- that is, I examine the lumps on dead people's skulls. This always gets a rousing laugh from the doctors in the crowd.
I sometimes add the background remarks that after I got my Doctorate in "Spin," I went for my PhD in "Ethical Topology" and taught at the junior college level for a few years. But you can only train so many would-be politicians, journalists, and financial advisors, so I then quit to become a Forensic Phrenologist.
"Those that can do, those that can't teach."
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