How to Deal With Bullies
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, and most of us have to deal with them at one point or another.
However, bullying is a serious problem, not only in schools- but also both in the workplace, home, the military, playground and even nursing homes.
Luckily enough, this method also works for adults. Some cases have even been so serious that they have led to the victims committing suicide due to bullying.
1, Know what kind of bully you are dealing with. What does he/she do to others, and how does he/she react with different situations?
- Aggressive bullies are likely to abuse physically and without hesitation. Try to feel the inner strength you carry. Sometimes we think they can take everything we have as a person away from us. Believe that you are stronger than they are, because deep down you are stronger than they are and ever will be.
- Taunting bullies are verbally abusive (calling names, making jokes, teasing, etc.).
- Indirect bullies, sometimes known as Backstabbers, spread rumors, exclude others, and harass their victims whenever possible. Try to overcome the rumors: tell everyone it's not true and the bully just wants attention.
- Cyber bullies harass other people through instant messaging, e-mail, and any other electronic means. The best way to deal with online bullies is to delete their messages and not read anything they say. Be sure to block the bully as well.
2Work your way around the bullies. Try and avoid them in school and social situations. If they take the same route that you do, try a different way; if they can't find you, they can't bully you. Try your best to avoid them but don't show that you are avoiding them. They will usually read this as fear/success, and they will bully you more as a result. Always walk with a friend; there's safety in numbers.
- 3Show minimal reaction to bullying. Do not show the bullies that you feel hurt if they do something that makes you uncomfortable; just walk away. Bullies gain satisfaction from making others feel hurt or uncomfortable, so reacting to them will only encourage them further. The bully wants attention and if you show them that they are emotionally hurting you, they will get more pleasure out of doing it.
- This tactic may backfire depending on the bully, so read the situation carefully. Some bullies will feel safe tormenting you, (as they enjoy that action itself) if they see that you aren't suffering from their actions.
- You cannot talk sense to an irrational person. Walk away with dignity, saying you have better things to do with your time. If it continues, stand up for yourself. If it continues or does not continue, be sure to stand up for others who are being bullied.
- 4Do not make jokes at your own expense to try to prove that there is nothing they can do to hurt your feelings. This will only please them, and they will often chip in with their own ridicule and humiliation to lower your self-esteem.
- 5Instead, reflect an insult back to a verbal attacker. If accomplished in public, this can elicit laughter from surrounding peers or victims at the bully's expense. This is a bully's worst nightmare, as they are de-throned from their position of power over you. Remember not to show the bully the attention they are hungry for, as this will allow the bully the pleasure of actually hurting others emotionally.
- Avoid insulting the bully if they have a history of physically bullying you, since this instigates a conflict you can't win. Instead of exacerbating the situation, walk away. Report this to an authority figure if you believe you are in danger.
- 6Report all bullying to an authority figure. Consider your parents, school guidance counselor, principal, boss, the police, or someone else who can deal with or punish the bully and protect your safety. It's important that you talk to someone about your problem to get it to end. Do not worry about revenge that the bully may take if you report the incident; they will hurt you anyway and appeasing them doesn't solve your problem or anyone else they are bullying. You could also go to tell a good friend- a good friend includes them standing up for you and you standing up for them aswell at times.
- If there is a bullying survey in your school always write your name down. Do not be embarrassed. You will probably start to talk to someone who is very experienced and this can be surprisingly helpful. You might feel very small but in reality you are bigger then the bully.
- 7Help others. Bullies are people who try to make themselves look good. All they want is attention and they have probably learned their bullying from home or friends. Take that away from them and they have nothing! Since you've experienced the problem, you know how it can hurt, so you can look better by being sure to help others! Try asking the bully why they pick on people. There is never a good answer to this question. If you don't want to ask the bully this, then force them into being uncomfortable, but make sure that your not bullying them.
- 8Take Martial art lessons. Consider Karate, Kung Fu, Taekwondo or something that will give you the confidence and the ability to defend yourself and fight properly. It will also help you learn how not to appear to be an easy target.
- Walk with a purposeful confidence and a 'don't you dare mess with me attitude.'
- Be aware of your surroundings. Walk with your head up looking forward in the direction you are walking, use your peripheral vision to be aware of the people around you. No matter how untrue this is, act confident and stand tall.
- 9Learn self defense. This is very important should you need to fight. You don't need a black belt, just tips on self-defense. Do so with all your strength, not reluctantly. A Tang Soo Do Self-defense class will teach you to do this.
- A quick kick in the groin will make the person feel dazed and look embarrassed long enough for an escape. Bullies aren't always used to others getting the best of them.
- If the groin doesn't work, try the solar plexus (right below the ribs), or kick a knee to make the person trip.
- If the bully is grabbing you or pushing you, believe it or not, it's actually an advantage- Try REALLY hard to keep your balance, grab one their arms with your left hand and hit their elbow with the other, then using your other hand, push away the remaining arm.
- Run, get to a safe place, and call for help.
- 10Outsmart Them. Bullies usually aren't very smart or witty, so you can use this to your advantage.
- Laugh at everything they say, and the worse the insult, the harder you should laugh. No faking! Try to think of it as something really funny and actually laugh. This is undeniably frustrating to bullies, because they want you to cry, not laugh. (Laughing so hard you cry probably doesn't count.)
- Scream a quote at the top of your lungs to their face. You should only try this when they've tread on your feet or in general are doing something wordlessly annoying. There are many good things to quote, such as the first verse of JABBERWOCKY, songs that have been mostly forgotten, ("I am I, Don Quixote, the Man of LaMancha") or make up some of your own ("I would like a dollar so I can buy a fish!") . In this case, random is the key word. The bully might be so surprised that you can cause laughter or, at a minimum, get away. (If they think you're crazy, that's ok too!)