Cognitive Reframing: An Ambiguous Figure

Ambiguous images

"Ambiguous images" or "reversible figures" are optical illusion images which exploit graphical similarities and other properties of visual system interpretation between two or more distinct image forms. These are famous for inducing the phenomenon of "multistable perception." Multistable perception is the occurrence of an image being able to provide multiple, although stable, perceptions. Classic examples of this are the "rabbit-duck" and the "face or vase."

"Cognitive reframing" is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives. In the context of cognitive therapy, cognitive reframing is referred to as "cognitive restructuring." Cognitive reframing, on the other hand, refers to the process as it occurs either voluntarily or automatically in all settings.

Doodle Tips on How to Deal with Frustration

Frustration and Hijacking the Amygdala

Sage Advice About Self-Talk

Michelle Combs: Huffpost Blog Post: Being an Adult Child of a Narcissist

People who are confident in any skill amaze me.

It doesn't matter if the skill is working on a car or playing a guitar or balancing a ledger sheet. They know what the results will be when they begin their task and then they do it.

I can't remember ever beginning a task with the absolute knowledge that I could complete it without a problem.

There is one thing, however, at which I am an expert. I am an expert at being the adult child of a narcissist. I have had decades of experience.

Here are the basics:

No intimacy: You learn at a very young age that trusting another person to protect you or your feelings is a mistake. Best to never really give your feelings away because it's just not safe. Sure, it's lonely to keep a barrier up at all times, but we do what we have to do. I've proven time and time again that I can reject intimacy with ease. The fact that I've been married three times is a testament to that.

Accept that you are unlovable: No one really likes you. You are flawed in way too many ways. You're not that bright. You're never going to coast on charm or looks and you really aren't very good at anything.

You will never know what you want to be when you grow up: How can you know what you want for your life when your formative years are spent being forced to be a reflection of a narcissistic parent? Oh, and you failed at that. Whatever choices you made were wrong so you learn to understand that your own instincts can't possibly be trusted.

You pick up some nasty little narcissistic traits of your own: You desperately want to be clever or have the best or the worst of something. Anything to make sure you are in the spotlight. Of course, what happens if you do find yourself in the spotlight, is that you want to run from it. You are not a narcissist, you were just raised by one and wanting to be the center of attention is just something you understand because you saw that grandiose behavior every day. When you actually find yourself at the center of attention, you either want to run away from it because it is horribly uncomfortable or you run away from it because you know you don't deserve it.

Become emotionally overwhelmed when dealing with other narcissists: I can spot a narcissist fairly easily. I loathe having to deal with them. I loathe my reaction to them. I find that I am both terrified of them and their potential rage that I need a Xanax just to be in the same room with them. I also find myself with an internal rage against them. I want to hit them and force to to admit what dickheads they are. And they never will. A narcissist is perfect. They can do no wrong and they are never wrong.

It's taken me years to get to where I am. I have a husband who didn't care how often I pushed him away, he cared enough about me to keep pushing back until I learned how to feel safe. I learned how to trust him with my feelings.

I began to suspect when I was in my twenties that it wasn't normal to assume everyone disliked me. I even remember the day. I was alone in my car after having just met someone for the first time. I don't remember who it was I met, but I remember this recurring thought "I know they don't like me. I wonder what I can do to make sure they change their mind?" A small voice spoke up and said "That's stupid. Why would they dislike you? They don't even know you."

I didn't turn that thinking around over night. I still deal with it, but on a much smaller scale. I am grateful that I recognized that it is unreasonable to believe that I am not lovable.

I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I suspect that I may just have to accept this. I know I don't want to do what I'm doing now (career-wise) but I've never changed it because I have no idea what else to do. Now I live my life outside of work. I'm sure it would be more satisfying to enjoy what I do, but I am grateful that I enjoy the life I have in the evenings, weekends, holidays, vacation days and sick days.

Accepting that we all have narcissistic tendencies was difficult. There is no shame with excelling at something. There isn't anything wrong with enjoying accolades. I suspect that I will always want them a little too much and always be uncomfortable when I receive them, but I'm making my peace with that as well.

I don't know that I will ever be able to deal with a narcissist without feeling some very powerful negative emotions. What I've learned to do is limit my contact with them as much as possible. I have no desire to argue with them and I will not put myself in a position to be abused by them. When it happens, I'd like my voice to be somewhere in between ineffectual and stark raving lunatic. As it were, those have been my two choices. I either make a weak attempt at sticking up for myself, or I completely lose my shit. It's possible that I won't improve much on that front either. Best to stick with my current plan of just limiting contact. I also find that making faces at them or flipping them off behind their back relieves the stress a bit.

I've been reading quite a bit about being the adult child of a narcissist and what I've read boils down to this: we're kind of screwed and probably need a lot of therapy.

I also know this for sure. I'm doing pretty damn good on my own. I've found strength and a voice that belong to just me.

Sure  -- it's entirely possibly that I need boat loads of therapy, but I'm also fairly impressed that I've made it this far on my own.

I think there might be a lot of us out there. I didn't understand what it was to be raised by a narcissist. I stumbled upon this whole narcissism thing in the past few years and it explained so much to me. It didn't fix my issues, but understanding narcissism has given me a comfort.

Now love me. Then leave me alone.

Karolina Tatarenkova: Self-Help Blog Post: Overcoming the Fear of NotBeing Good Enough

When was the last time you felt that you had to prove something to the people you love? How often do you doubt your ability and courage to achieve something you deeply desire?  How often you do you feel like you're never good enough for your parents, for example? No matter what you do, you never even get "That's great! I'm so proud of you!"  -- or maybe they do tell you so, but only on occasion.

When you feel that you're not good enough, you often find yourself in isolation, sitting in the dark room, abandoned and longing for love from the people you have never received much love from, even in your childhood. Here is a process for you to take on in order to be less likely to be lost in the fear of not being enough. 

Uncover the True Message

When you experience pain as a result of interaction with other people, it's because you tend to personalize everything they say or don't say, and take it to heart. I realize that the opinion of people whose love you have never received and always cherished is precious to you, like water in the desert. But it doesn't have to be. It's not all about you. Actions speak louder than words. You probably have heard this saying many time before. The actions through which they show you love are according to their dictionary of how love is expressed, not yours.  So, don't expect them to live life according to your terms. 

Nurture Self-Love

In order to expand the love you experience, you need to embark on a spiritual journey to discover unconditional love for yourself. Love is a choice, and if you have never experienced love, it's because you never chose to love. Love can be a healing force that unifies everybody. You can love somebody without needing anything in return from them. That's where freedom comes in.  

Embark on the Journey of Self-Discovery

I have a challenge for you over the next 21 days. Imagine that you're somewhere on an amazingly beautiful island, enjoying the sacred music of the ocean. You can't really see yourself because the sun shines so bright. From this place of serenity and tranquility, write down three things you love about yourself. The deeper you explore, the greater sense of totality and personal power will come in. 

What's Your Authentic Mission in Life?

I follow my passion and my heart. I know you do, too. Why is it that you still find yourself rushing to prove to others that you deserve to be loved and to love? Why? It's powerful question. We spend too much time trying to figure out why that we forget that it doesn't really matter.  It's rarely about why. 

If you rely on somebody's validation of your success, you will never be free. You will never be able to create art and fulfill your passion. It will be so easy for anyone to derail you off your path. The next time you are uncertain about your success -- reflect back on why you are in this business, this relationship, or this career in the first place.  

Direct Your Focus on Living Fully

Stop wasting your life and drowning in suffering because you have never had the love and attention that you deserved from your parents. You will create obstacles by focusing on what you can't have. By referring back to the memories of your parents never encouraging you for the great achievements that should have made them outrageously happy, you reinforce the limiting belief of not being good enough and worthy of people's attention.  

Have Fun Achieving Your Life Mission

Coaching and counselling people, I can confidently say that you can't force people to see from your own reality. We all have our own reality, and each reality is valid. Accept that you can't control people or even change their behaviour by telling them not to do something. We all have been emotionally wounded at some point of our lives.  

However, some chose not to allow that wound to stop them from finding fulfillment in life, whereas others continue picking that scab, never allowing it to disappear. It might have been their fault that they never loved you the way you wanted them, but it's your fault to allow it define who you are in the present.  


Let It Go

It might be scary to let go of the feeling of not being good enough. Maybe it's time to forgive and move on. You might think that not forgiving others for not loving you that way you wanted them to serves you as a protection. But it doesn't. A fearless life is life with passion and courage. In fact, it poisons you, your soul and your passion for life, because not only will they have robbed you in the past, they will have robbed you of the future as well. No one can take away your future from you.

Unforgiveness is self-fulfilling because it has everything to do with you and nothing with another person. You trap yourself in isolation and loneliness by trying to prove that you're worthy of love. It feeds this imprisonment. Problems need energy to live. Find people in your life who support you and empower you to become a better version of yourself.  

Continuously Realign Goals with Your Life Mission

Next time you feel like you're not enough for your parents, grandparents, lover etc., tell yourself the following: "Every time I'm wasting my energy on where I have been, I'm not going to have the energy, audacity and courage I need to energize where I'm going."

Let it go...You want to cry, cry. You want to ponder, ponder. But never ever again let anyone rob you of your happiness, authenticity and desires.

Clearing the Mind

Here are five things to try (out of many) when your thoughts become too "cluttered."

1. If you're working, switch locations. Instead of feeling trapped at one desk, take your work with you somewhere new, or at least get up and move around.

2. Physically throw away negative thoughts. Write them down and chuck them in the trash can. Richard Petty from Ohio State University led a study and found that, "At some level, it can sound silly. But we found that it really works -- by physically throwing away or protecting your thoughts, you influence how you end up using those thoughts." 

3. Meditate. Meditation can seem intimidating, but don't let the "am I doing it right?" thoughts stop you. The benefits of the practice seem endless, and now Rebecca Erwin Wells, M.D., and Fadel Zeidan, Ph.D., are looking at the practice as a therapy to reduce pain and everyday anxiety.

4. Embrace mental downtime. Turning it off can be just as important as turning it on. From Scientific American, "Downtime replenishes the brain's stores of attention and motivation, encourages productivity and creativity, and is essential to both achieve our highest levels of performance and simply form stable memories in everyday life."

5. Take a run (or a walk). The University of British Columbia ran a study that found when you get your heart pumping and your body sweaty, the part of your brain associated with verbal memory and learning actually grows. 

Amy Morin: Correcting Thinking Errors with CBT Techniques In Order toBuild Mental Strength

Mental strength requires a three-pronged approach -- managing our thoughts, regulating our emotions, and behaving productively despite our circumstances. While all three areas can be a struggle, it's often our thoughts that make it most difficult to be mentally strong.

As we go about our daily routines, our internal monologue narrates our experience. Our self-talk guides our behavior and influences the way we interact with others. It also plays a major role in how you feel about yourself, other people, and the world in general.

Quite often, however, our conscious thoughts aren't realistic. Instead, they're irrational and inaccurate. Believing our irrational thoughts can lead to a variety of problems, including communication issues, relationship problems, and unhealthy decisions.

Whether you're striving to reach your personal or professional goals, the key to success often starts with recognizing and replacing inaccurate thoughts. The most common thinking errors can be divided into these categories, which are adapted from David Burns book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.

All-or-Nothing Thinking 

Sometimes we see things as being black or white. Perhaps you have two categories of coworkers in your mind -- the good ones and the bad ones. Or, maybe you look at each project as either a success or a failure. Recognize the shades of gray, rather than putting things in terms of all good or all bad.

Overgeneralizing 

It's easy to take one particular event and generalize it to the rest of our lives. If you failed to close one deal, you may decide, "I'm bad at closing deals." Or if you are treated poorly by one family member, you might think, "Everyone in my family is rude." Take notice of times where an incident may apply to a specific situation only, instead of all other areas of life.

Filtering Out the Positive 

If nine good things happen, and one bad thing, sometimes we filter out the good and hone in on the bad. Maybe we declare we had a bad day, despite the positive events that occurred. Or maybe we look back at our performance and declare it was terrible because we made a single mistake. Filtering out the positive can prevent you from establishing a realistic outlook on a situation. Develop a balanced outlook by noticing both the positive and the negative.

Mind-Reading 

We can never be sure what someone else is thinking. Yet, everyone occasionally assumes they know what's going on in someone else's mind. Thinking things like, "He must have thought I was stupid at the meeting," makes inferences that aren't necessarily based on reality. Remind yourself that you may not be making accurate guesses about other people's perceptions.

Catastrophizing 

Sometimes we think things are much worse than they actually are. If you fall short on meeting your financial goals one month you may think, "I'm going to end up bankrupt," or "I'll never have enough money to retire," even though there's no evidence that the situation is nearly that dire. It can be easy to get swept up into catastrophizing the situation once your thoughts become negative. When you begin predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself that there are many other potential outcomes.

Emotional Reasoning 

Our emotions aren't always based on reality but, we often assume those feelings are rational. If you're worried about making a career change, you might assume, "If I'm this scared about it, I just shouldn't change jobs." Or, you may be tempted to assume, "If I feel like a loser, I must be a loser." It's essential to recognize that emotions, just like our thoughts, aren't always based on the facts.

Labeling 

Labeling involves putting a name to something. Instead of thinking, "He made a mistake," you might label your neighbor as "an idiot." Labelling people and experiences places them into categories that are often based on isolated incidents. Notice when you try to categorize things and work to avoid placing mental labels on everything.

Fortune-telling 

Although none of us know what will happen in the future, we sometimes like to try our hand at fortunetelling. We think things like, "I'm going to embarrass myself tomorrow," or "If I go on a diet, I'll probably just gain weight." These types of thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're not careful. When you're predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself of all the other possible outcomes.

Personalization 

As much as we'd like to say we don't think the world revolves around us, it's easy to personalize everything. If a friend doesn't call back, you may assumea, "She must be mad at me," or if a co-worker is grumpy, you might conclude, "He doesn't like me." When you catch yourself personalizing situations, take time to point out other possible factors that may be influencing the circumstances.

Unreal Ideal 

Making unfair comparisons about ourselves and other people can ruin our motivation. Looking at someone who has achieved much success and thinking, "I should have been able to do that," isn't helpful, especially if that person had some lucky breaks or competitive advantages along the way. Rather than measuring your life against someone else's, commit to focusing on your own path to success.

Fixing Thinking Errors: 

Once you begin recognizing thinking errors, you can begin working on trying to challenge those thoughts. Look for exceptions to the rule and gather evidence that your thoughts aren't 100-percent true. Then, you can begin replacing those thoughts with more realistic thoughts.

The goal doesn't need to be to replace negative thoughts with overly idealistic or positive ones. Instead replace them with realistic thoughts. Changing the way you think takes a lot of effort initially, but with practice, you'll notice big changes -- not just in the way you think, but also in the way you feel and behave. You can make peace with the past, look at the present differently, and think about the future in a way that will support your chances of reaching your goals.

Dr. Barbara Markway Ph.D.: Reasons to Refrain from Judging People

Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. It might be over small things, like a co-worker who took too long of a lunch break. Or it might be over bigger issues, such as a person who behaves selfishly or hurts our feelings. 

Psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach frequently tells this story: Imagine you are walking through the woods and you see a small dog. It looks cute and friendly. You approach and move to pet the dog. Suddenly it snarls and tries to bite you. The dog no longer seems cute and you feel fear and possibly anger. Then, as the wind blows, the leaves on the ground are carried away and you see the dog has one of its legs caught in a trap. Now, you feel compassion for the dog. You know it became aggressive because it is in pain and is suffering.

What can we learn from this story? How can we become less judgmental? 

Don’t blame yourself. 

We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. When we see a dog (or a person) that might bite us (literally or metaphorically), of course we feel threatened. We go into fight-flight-freeze mode, and are unable to see the myriad possible reasons for another’s behavior. We get tight and defensive. This is a normal first reaction. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode.

Be mindful. 

Although judgment is a natural instinct, try to catch yourself before you speak, or send that nasty email and do any potential harm. You can’t get your words back. Pause. See if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one. After all, like that dog in the trap, we really don’t know the reasons for someone’s behavior.

Depersonalize. 

When someone disagrees with us or somehow makes our life difficult, remember that it’s typically not about us. It may be about their pain or struggle. Why not give others the benefit of the doubt? “Never underestimate the pain of a person," Will Smith said, "because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”

Look for basic goodness. 

This takes practice, as our minds naturally scan for the negative, but if we try, we can almost always find something good about another person.

Repeat the mantra, “Just like me.” 

Remember, we are more alike than different. When I feel critical of someone, I try to remind myself that the other person loves their family just like I do, and wants to be happy and free of suffering, just like I do. Most important, that person makes mistakes, just like I do.

Reframe. 

When someone does something you don’t like, perhaps think of it as they are simply solving a problem in a different way than you would. Or maybe they have a different timetable than you do. This may help you be more open-minded and accepting of their behavior. The Dalai Lama says: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.”

  

Look at your own behavior. 

Sometimes, we may be judging someone for something that we do ourselves, or have done. For example, the next time you find yourself yelling at someone while you’re driving, ask yourself, “Have I ever driven poorly?” Of course, we all have.

Educate yourself. 

When people do things that are annoying, they may have a hidden disability. For example, some people with poor social skills may have Asperger’s syndrome. So if someone’s invading your personal space (as someone with Asperger’s might), remember again, it’s not about you. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

Give the person the benefit of the doubt. 

Someone once told me, no one wakes up in the morning and says, "I think I'm going to be a jerk today." Most of us do the best we can with the resources we have at the moment.

Feel good about you. 

Brene´ Brown says: “If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because were using each other as a launching pad out of her own perceived deficiency.”

And finally, remember that judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

Infographic: Two Mindsets

Maintain Your Equilibrium in the Face of Stress

By Jan Bruce

You can think of living your life and chasing your ambitions as stressful, or you can think of it as thrilling. 

When you think of it as thrilling, you are doing what psychologists call "reframing" -- and it's critical to shifting your experience of stress. 

After all, a life without thrill is a boring life indeed. It may be safe, but offers you no opportunity for growth. Facing your fears isn't easy -- but your ability to reframe it as a positive is key. 

But while you want to be thrilled, you also want to feel sane. This is where the rubber meets the road. Maintaining sanity while chasing these lofty ambitions, though, is anything but easy. Growing a career, finding and maintaining love, raising children, building financial security and nurturing a passion are just a few of the enormous undertakings that make up your life's work, and trying to do it all can be overwhelming. 

The question then, is how we turn a situation of constant pressure into one of productivity and -- more importantly -- pleasure.

I teach people the tools and techniques for confronting life's challenges in a responsive, not reactive way -- by identifying the thoughts and emotions that derail your attention and energy. 

By looking below the surface of your own conscious thought process, you can unearth unseen motivations and beliefs that are driving your behavior and limiting your growth. By helping you become an expert on your own thoughts, actions, behaviors, you can stop trouble before it starts, and keep stress under your control.

Your goal isn't to change what's "out there" so you don't feel stressed. It's to build your resilience so that you can stay strong in the face of anything. 

That means not just replacing negative thought patterns and behaviors with positive, supportive ones, but shifting your perspective so that you feel connected to something bigger than your to-do list. 

All of your physical, mental and emotional behaviors together create who you are and how you'll fare in the face of stress. So let's make that version of you the best it can be.

Here are the key strategies for maintaining equilibrium so that you're not entirely thrown off by your efforts, nor mired in anxiety or indecision:

Try to manage your stress, not eliminate it. When I talk about maintaining balance, I mean maintaining the ability to find your balance on shifting ground. 

The goal isn't to eliminate stress from your life, but rather, to make sure that you have tools to handle whatever comes your way so that stress doesn't get the best of you.

Recognize that it's hard work. Though there us an approach that offers an easy, accessible framework for addressing stress and thinking traps, the work can be daunting. 

Making time to exercise or summoning the will to eat correctly, not to mention having the humility to ask for help when you need it, are no small tasks. 

If you can approach your challenges with respect for the difficulty of the task at hand, you might find that you're more accepting with yourself as you try to meet these challenges and more proud of yourself when you succeed.

Consider it practice. There's no final competition, event or performance with this work, no final test of whether you "beat: stress or not. 

Instead, it's something you'll come up against every day. If you view every day as an opportunity to revisit and improve this approach, however, you'll find that you accumulate lots of victories.

Now that you have these tools and perspectives, get to it -- there's no better time than now to start.

Dawn Gluskin: 37 Life Lessons in 37 Years

By Dawn Gluskin

Today is my 37th birthday. And, I must say, it's been a pretty interesting ride so far. As I look back over the years and many phases of my Iife, I realize how each stage, success, stumble, triumph and heartache has had a significant impact on where I stand right now. And despite the rough patches, I love it all.

From a shy yet studious little girl, to an artsy and somewhat rebellious teenager, to a happy-go-lucky big-dreaming 20-something with a bit of a wild side, my metamorphosis were plentiful in my early years. Now into my 30s, my heart has grown a few sizes larger and overflows with motherly love as I've discovered what matters most in life. And my entrepreneurial experiences have been a crash course in lessons of life, business and self that, at times, brought me to the brink of what I thought I could handle, only to be rewarded nicely for sticking it out and seeing it through.

As I continue to step more fully into myself each day and bring to light my mission of helping others build their own dreams with joy and ease, I've racked my brain to think of my top 37 life lessons so far. On this day of celebrating another trip around the sun, I share these with you and hope you find inspiration as I have. 

Top 37 Life Lessons So Far

Happiness comes from within. We spend way too much of our lives looking for outside validation and approval that eludes us. Turns out, it's been an inside job all along. Go inward.

Be grateful for everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. Our entire life is a precious gift. The pleasure, the pain -- it's all part of our path.

Subtle shifts in perception will transform your entire life. When feeling fearful, angry, hurt, simply choose to see a situation differently.

In being true to yourself, you can't possibly make everybody else happy. Still, it's better to risk being disliked for living your truth than to be loved for what you are pretending to be.

The world is our mirror. What we love in others is a reflection of what we love about ourselves. What upsets us about others is a strong indication of what we need to look at more closely within ourselves.

Everybody comes into our life for a reason. It is up to us to be open to the lesson they are meant to teach. The more someone rubs us the wrong way, the greater the lesson. Take notes.

Trust. In troubled times, just know that the Universe has your back and everything is going to be alright. If you're not there yet, trust in hindsight you will understand. Your higher good is being supported, always.

Never take things personally. What others do is a reflection of what's going on in their own life and probably has little or nothing to do with you.

A walk in nature cures a lot. Taking in some fresh air and the beautiful landscape of this earth is amazingly head-clearing, grounding, and mood-lifting. Bonus: You can learn a whole lot about life in your observation of the awesomeness which is nature.

Hurt people hurt people. Love them anyway. Although, it's totally okay to love them from a distance.

You have to feel it to heal it. Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them because the only way out is through. The hurt of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.

Perfectionism is an illusion. A painful one at that. Ease up. Strive for excellence, sure, but allow yourself room to make mistakes and permission to be happy regardless of outcome.

Take the blinders off. Don't become so laser-focused on your own goals and desires that you miss out on the beauty in life and the people around you. The world is stunningly beautiful when you walk around with eyes wide open.

Celebrate the journey. It's not all about the destination. Savor all of your successes, even the small ones.

Forgiveness is not so much about the other person. It's about you and for you so that you can gain the peace and freedom you deserve. Forgive quickly and often.

We are all incredibly intuitive. When we learn to become still and listen, we can tap into some pretty amazing primal wisdom. Listen to the quiet whisper of your heart. It knows the way.

Let your soul shine! Be authentic. There is nobody else on this earth just like you. Step into your truth wholeheartedly and live and breathe your purpose.

We are powerful creators. Seriously, bad-asses. With intention, focus, and persistence -- anything is possible. Know this.

I am full of light. You are full of light. We are all full of light. Some cast shadows on their own brightness. Be a beacon of light to others and show them the way.

Don't take life too seriously! Nobody gets out alive anyway. Smile. Be goofy. Take chances. Have fun.

Surround yourself with people who love and support you. And, love and support them right back! Life is too short for anything less.

Learn the delicate dance. Have big beautiful dreams and vision. Chase them with much passion. But, also hold on to them all ever so lightly. Be flexible and willing to flow as life comes at you.

Giving is the secret to receiving. Share your wisdom, your love, your talents. Share freely and be amazed at how much beauty in life flows back to you.

On that note, be careful not to give too much. If you empty out your own cup completely, you will have nothing left to give. Balance is key.

Say "YES!" to everything that lights you up. Say "no", unapologetically, to anything that doesn't excite you or you don't have the bandwidth for. Time is one of our most precious resources that we can never get back. Manage it wisely.

Sometimes we outgrow friendships. It doesn't mean they're bad or you're bad. It just means you're on different paths. Hold them in your heart, but when they start to hurt or hold you back, it's time to give space or let go.

Fear is often a very good indicator of what we really want and need in our life. Let it be your compass and enjoy the exciting adventure it leads you on.

Overcoming your fears is one of the most empowering things you can ever do for yourself. You'll prove to yourself you can truly accomplish anything! Major self-confidence booster.

Our bodies are our vehicle to our dreams. Treat them with love and fuel them with the best health to feel vibrant and energized. But, never obsess over image. Looks are subjective and will fade in time, anyway. Feeling good, healthy, and comfortable in our own skin is what matters most.

Let those that you love know it often and enthusiastically. You can never say it or show it too much. Your time, total presence, love, and genuine concern for their wellness is the greatest gift of all.

The present moment is where it's at. It's the only one promised to any of us. Learn from your past and enjoy the beautiful memories, but don't cling or let them haunt you. And, dream big and be excited about the future, but don't become obsessed. Love this moment, always.

Life is full of highs and lows. We need them both to grow to our fullest potential. Just hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

We are all connected as one human family. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else -- just at different stages of our journeys and dealing with life the best way we know how. Recognize that the other person is you.

Practice daily gratitude for all the blessings in your life, large and small. Not only is this a high vibe practice that feels amazing, in practicing regularly you are creating space for even more abundance -- of joy, love, health, and prosperity.

We are not the center of the universe, although our ego can make us feel that way at times. Step outside of that way of thinking and see the world and other people's perspective in a whole new beautiful light.

The world needs more love, light, and laughter. Go be love.

You are the guru. For much of our lives, we have been told what do, how to think, what looks good, what "success" is. You don't have to buy into any of it. Feel free to peel back the layers. 

Think for yourself. Break the mold. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will be ridiculously happy.

In looking back at your own life, realize that every high and low is all part of your amazing story. Own it! 

Take cues and guidance from the universe and you will continue to go on an incredible ride as you fully step into your truth and power.

Age is just a number, but the higher it gets, the more wisdom and life experience we've amassed. You are never going to be younger than you are in this present moment again. So embrace it, love it, and enjoy it fully.

Here's to many more beautiful years of seeking-truth, questioning all that does not sit right, and making your greatest impact in the world.

Make Time to Bask in What You Enjoy About Life

People Who Enjoy Life Actually Age Better, Study Shows. Love life and it will love you back, a new study says.

A British study found that older adults who enjoy life also enjoy better physical abilities as they age. 

Researchers at University College London spent eight years following nearly 3,200 men and women aged 60 and over in England to monitor their physical function and assess their enjoyment of life. 

Participants were asked to assess their contentment, by rating their agreement with the following statements, on a four-point scale:

I enjoy the things that I do.

I enjoy being in the company of others.

On balance, I look back on my life with a sense of happiness.

I feel full of energy these days.

The researchers also interviewed the subjects to find out if they had any physical impairments when performing simple daily activities like getting dressed and also measure their walking speed.

"The study shows that older people who are happier and enjoy life more show slower declines in physical function as they age," researcher Andrew Steptoe said in a release. 

"They are less likely to develop impairments....and their walking speed declines at a lower rate than those who enjoy life less."

The participants with lower well-being were over three times as likely to develop problems than their more contented counterparts. "Our previous work has shown that older people with greater enjoyment of life are more likely to survive over the next eight years," Steptoe said.

A 2011 study conducted by Steptoe found that people who were the happiest were 35 percent less likely to die compared with those who were least happy. 

This could be because they're less likely to suffer from heart attacks, strokes, and other painful conditions like arthritis. 

Plus, research from Carnegie Mellon shows happy people are also less susceptible to colds and flus.

All the more reason to see the glass half full.

Dr. Cynthia Thaik: Don't Be Paralyzed by Fear

At some point or another, we've all experienced fear -- that feeling when your heart is racing out of control, your palms are sweating, you're short of breath and your digestive track goes into spasms.

Fear has very real effects on the body, and these effects are meant to protect us from danger.

In day to day life, a small amount of fear or insecurity can be beneficial, in that it keeps you on your toes and motivated.

However, when fear and insecurity eclipse common sense, these unhealthy thought processes can cloud your judgement and prevent you from realizing your goals.

Moreover, constant anxiety, self-doubt and irrational fear can cause a myriad of health problems, including digestive ailments, headaches, depression, high blood pressure and even cardiovascular issues.

It is important to be aware of your own fears and insecurities, and to recognize if and when they are preventing you from living the life that you truly deserve.

How to Let go of Fear and Insecurity

1. Identify your fears and insecurities. Make a list of all your fears. The first step to eliminating fear is recognizing exactly what it is that makes you afraid. Is it a fear of failure? Rejection? Looking foolish? Once you pinpoint your fears, think about why you are afraid of those things. Are your fears rooted in logic or are they a product of your own emotions?

2. Stop overthinking everything. Sure, it is good to think a situation through before you make a major decision, but too much thinking prevents you from actually doing anything. And if you never act on anything, you'll never get ahead. So stop over-analyzing every single little thing, don't talk yourself out of making decisions and instead, just act.

3. Find your strengths and play those up. When you remind yourself of what you are good at and what you like about yourself, you gain more confidence and start to let go of your fear. The next time you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, try to think about at least three strengths that you have that make you unique.

4. Exercise and eat well. We all know that exercise and a healthy diet are good for our bodies, but a healthy lifestyle can also improve your mood and make you feel more relaxed, balanced and confident. This in turn, is a surefire way to vanquish anxiety and insecurity.

5. Set goals. Without a plan it is very easy to get lost and feel as though you have no purpose in life. Goal setting can give you some direction and force you to rise above your fears to achieve the things you want in life. In addition, every for milestone or goal that you reach, you will gain that extra boost of confidence that will help you to get over your insecurities.

When it comes down to it, fear is very much a product of the mind and more of an internal struggle than anything to do with the reality of the outside world.

If you look within yourself, trust your decisions and learn to love yourself, you will find that your fears will dissipate and you can get on with enjoying everything that life has to offer.