In the Blogs: Why We Gossip

By Tom Jacobs

"Did you hear what happened at yesterday's meeting? Can you believe it?"

If you find those sort of quietly whispered questions about your co-workers irresistible, you're hardly alone. But why are we drawn to gossip?

A new study suggests it's because the rumors, innuendo and hearsay are ultimately all about us -- where we rate in the unofficial local hierarchy, and how we might improve our standing.

"Gossip recipients tend to use positive and negative group information to improve, promote and protect the self," writes a research team led by Elena Martinescu of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. "Individuals need evaluative information about others to evaluate themselves."

Writing in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the researchers describe two experiments testing the personal value gossip recipients derive. The first featured 178 university undergraduates who had all previously worked on at least one course assignment with a group of four or more students.

Participants "were asked to recall and write a short description of an incident in which a group members shared with them either positive or negative information about another group member's confidence," the researchers write. (Eighty-five received a positive report, 93 a negative one.)

They then reported their level of agreement with a series of statements. Some of these measured the self-improvement value of the gossip ("The information received made me think I can learn a lot from X"); others measured its self-promotion value ("The information I received made me feel that I am doing well compared to X"). Still others measured whether the gossip raised personal concerns ("The information I received made me feel that I must protect my image in the group").

In the second experiment, 122 undergraduates were assigned the role of "sales agent" at a major company. They received gossip from a colleague that a third person either did very well or very badly at a performance evaluation, and were then debriefed about the emotions that information evoked. They also responded to the aforementioned set of statements presented to participants in the first experiment.

In each experiment, participants found both negative and positive gossip to be of personal value, albeit for different reasons. "Positive gossip has self-improvement value," they write. "Competence-related positive gossip about others contains lessons about how to improve one's own competence."

On the flip side, "negative gossip has self-promotion value, because it provides individuals with social comparison information that justifies self-promoting judgments, which results in feelings of pride."

"Contrary to lay perceptions," the researchers assert, "most negative gossip is not intended to hurt the target, but to please the gossiper and receiver."

In addition, the results "showed that negative gossip elicited self-protection concerns," the researchers write. "Negative gossip makes people concerned that their reputations may be at risk, as they may personally become targets of negative gossip in the future, which generates fear."

Fear is hardly a pleasant sensation, of course, but it can be a motivating one. As Martinescu and her colleagues put it: "Gossip conveniently provides individuals with indirect social-comparison information about relevant others."

In other words, if you don't want to be viewed as a goof-off like Charley, you'd better get your act together.

It's worth noting that this study did not look at who-is-sleeping-with-who gossip, which presumably has a somewhat different function -- although news that an illicit couple has gotten caught could certainly serve as a cautionary tale.

But it does show that beyond providing "emotional catharsis and social control," confidentially treaded information about the competence, or lack thereof, of a co-worker can be "an essential resource for self-evaluation."

Pass the word.

Kate Bartolotta: Four Things That Make the Difference BetweenSurviving and Thriving

By Kate Bartolotta

What makes the difference between people who get knocked down by life and stay down, and those who get back up?

In his book The Resiliency Advantage, Al Siebert wrote that:

... highly resilient people are flexible, adapt to new circumstances quickly, and thrive in constant change. Most important, they expect to bounce back and feel confident that they will. They have a knack for creating good luck out of circumstances that many others see as bad luck.

While defining the characteristics of highly resilient people is helpful, what habits can we cultivate to strengthen our ability to respond to the difficult parts of life?

We cannot change our innate personalities. We cannot change how we were parented. We also cannot choose many of the circumstances we will encounter in our lives. In light of those things we cannot change, it makes sense that we would do everything in our power to choose habits that will serve to strengthen our ability to bounce back in difficult times.

The following habits can make the difference between getting up in the morning to face the day when life gets hard and wanting to crawl back under the covers:

1. Choose connection.

It can be tough to reach out when we are going through difficult times -- even if we crave connection. For those of us who tend to be introverted, it can be even more difficult.

Like all of the physical and mental resilience factors, this is a habit that we can cultivate; like building muscle, it gets stronger the more we do it. We don't have to become extroverted social butterflies to reap these benefits. Reaching out to a single friend or family member on a regular basis to touch in about how things are going is sufficient.

In our social media-saturated world, it might seem like this isn't an area that needs work, but consider how short and often superficial these interactions can be. Making the effort to have a genuine connection with a few friends or family members on a regular basis can help create that habit, so that when things are hard, it's already second nature to reach out instead of collapsing inward.

It will also help in difficult times, because those you are connected with will be in the habit of checking in with you and may notice you've withdrawn.

2. Be present.

Our brains have an area called the "default mode network." We are in this mode when we are distractedly thinking about the future, or re-hashing a conversation we had yesterday.

While entering into this distracted default mode may sometimes be helpful for creative inspiration, too much time functioning at this default mode level keeps us from being fully present and engaged with what's going on.

Constantly being in this state of self-referential examination can make us unhappy -- if not neurotic.

One simple activity that can help us find balance here is developing a meditation practice. When we practice stilling our minds and being present, we shift from default mode and experience greater focus, even when not meditating.

3. Be positive.

This doesn't mean becoming an idealistic Pollyanna or just wishing your troubles away.

What it does mean is choosing to look for the good in life and cultivating gratitude.

Studies indicate that those with a spiritual practice reap physical and emotional benefits from having faith. This doesn't mean that you need to start going to your church or synagogue in order to be emotionally resilient, but connecting with others and a higher power is a huge boost for many people.

For those who don't feel drawn toward a particular spiritual path, belief in the goodness of humankind and having hope may have similar effects. Einstein may have said it best, "The single most important decision any of us will ever to make is whether or not to believe that the universe is friendly."

4. Give back.

The choice to give back and be of benefit to others and the world strengthens us as well.

Recent research shows that even practicing small acts of kindness raises levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin in the body as well as boosting the immune system.

As with number one on this list, when we feel connected to the greater whole of humanity, we strengthen our own ability to respond to life with resilience.

On a final note, another piece of emotional resilience is being gentle to ourselves.

Being emotionally resilient doesn't mean that we keep our chins up and paste on a smile when we feel rotten. It's okay not to feel okay.

Choosing these habits that help keep us connected can make the difference between having a "not okay" day and a "not okay" year.

If we can cultivate habits that create resilience during low stress times, we will have a greater chance of accessing them when things are difficult.

Healing and the Human Touch

"Nothing is so healing as the human touch."
Bobby Fischer, American chess prodigy, grandmaster, and the eleventh World Chess Champion -- a reluctant National hero, then later an outcast pariah....

The Fair Society by Peter Corning

My Facebook addiction has slowed my reading, but I'm still studying the human condition. Lately, due to all the cheating, fudging, squeezing, and consolidation of wealth and advantage to the few, I've become interested in how things could be improved for more folks in the USA. On the reading stand is:

The Fair Society: The Science of Human Nature and the Pursuit of Social Justice by Peter Corning

We’ve been told, again and again, that life is unfair. But what if we’re wrong simply to resign ourselves to this situation? What if we have the power—and more, the duty—to change society for the better?

We do. And our very nature inclines us to do so. That’s the provocative argument Peter Corning makes in The Fair Society. Drawing on the evidence from our evolutionary history and the emergent science of human nature, Corning shows that we have an innate sense of fairness. While these impulses can easily be subverted by greed and demagoguery, they can also be harnessed for good.

Corning brings together the latest findings from the behavioral and biological sciences to help us understand how to move beyond the Madoffs and Enrons in our midst in order to lay the foundation for a new social contract—a Biosocial Contract built on a deep understanding of human nature and a commitment to fairness. He then proposes a sweeping set of economic and political reforms based on three principles of fairness—equality, equity, and reciprocity—that together could transform our society and our world.

At this crisis point for capitalism, Corning reveals that the proper response to bank bailouts and financial chicanery isn’t to get mad -- it’s to get fair.

Editorial Review

"Peter Corning paints a compelling picture of the excessive inequalities of income, wealth, and power in American society, and the damage they cause. More importantly, he makes a strong case for fairness - arguing that equality, equity, and reciprocity are central to humanity's social needs and collective flourishing." (Kate Pickett, coauthor of The Spirit Level: Why Greater Equality Makes Societies Stronger) "An edifying book.... I admire Peter Corning's attempt to develop a normative theory of justice that is 'built on an empirical foundation.'... One hopes that those who wish to occupy places of power on behalf of the 99 percent will heed Corning's sage advice about what to do and - just as important - what not to do in planning for a better, more just society." (American Scientist)"

About the Author

Peter Corning is the director of the Institute for the Study of Complex Systems, a one-time writer for Newsweek and professor at Stanford University, and the author of several books.

Build Your Social Network

In the News: Douglas Rushkoff Opinion: Unfair Verdict on Manning

Pfc. Bradley Manning, who provided classified government documents to Wikileaks detailing, among other things, America's undisclosed policies on torture, was found guilty of espionage on Tuesday. The verdict comes on the 235th anniversary of the passage of America's first whistle-blower protection law, approved by the Continental Congress after two Navy officers were arrested and harassed for having reported the torture of British prisoners.

How have we gotten to the place where the revelation of torture is no longer laudable whistle-blowing, but now counts as espionage?

The answer is that government has not yet come to terms with the persistence and transparency of the digital age. Information moves so fast and to so many places that controlling it is no longer an option. Every datapoint, whether a perverted tweet by an aspiring mayor or a classified video of Reuters news staffers being gunned down by an Apache helicopter, will somehow find the light of day. It's enough to make any administration tremble, but it's particularly traumatic for one with things to hide.

That's why they tried to throw the book, and then some, at Manning.

Prosecutors cast simple Internet commands known to any halfway literate Internet user (or anyone who used the Internet back in the early '90s) as clandestine codes used only by hackers to steal data.

That Osama bin Laden could download these files off the Wikileaks website (along with millions of other people) became justification for classifying the whistle-blowing as espionage, an act of war.

And Manning is just one of a record seven Americans charged with violating the Espionage Act in a single administration.

But prosecuting those whose keyboards or USB sticks may have been technically responsible for the revelations is futile. The more networked we become and the more data we collect, the more likely something will eventually find its way out. After all, a security culture based on surveillance and big data cuts both ways.

Moreover, harsh reaction to digital whistle-blowers only increases the greater population's suspicions that more information is being hidden.

In this one leaking incident, Manning exposed allegations of torture, undisclosed civilian death tolls in Afghanistan and Iraq, official orders not to investigate torture by nations holding our prisoners, accusations of the torture of Spanish prisoners at Guantanamo, the "collateral murder" video of Reuters journalists and Iraqi civilians as U.S. soldiers cheered, U.S. State Department support of corporations opposing Haitian minimum wage, training of Egyptian torturers by the FBI in Quantico, Virginia, U.S. authorized stealing of U.N. Secretary General's DNA -- the list goes on.

These are not launch codes for nuclear strikes, operational secrets or even plans for future military missions. Rather, they are documentation of past activity and officially sanctioned military and state policy. These are not our secrets, but our ongoing actions and approaches.

A thinking government--a virtuous one, if we can still use such a word--would treat this as a necessary intervention. Things have gone too far. But ours is a government in "present shock": an always-on, always-connected population puts the administration in a state of perpetual emergency interruption. It's not the phone call at 2 a.m. for which a president has to be prepared, but the tweet at 3, the Facebook update at 4, the YouTube video at 5, and on and on.

In such a crisis-to-crisis landscape, there's no time to implement or even articulate a "grand narrative." A real-time, digital world offers no sense of mission or opportunity to tell a story. There's no Cold War to win. No moon shot to work toward. There are just emergent threats, one after the other after the other. Things just exist in the present, one tweet - or, actually, many tweets - at a time.

This makes it exceedingly difficult to frame our policies and strategies with language and purpose. It's no longer a matter of walking the talk. Without the talk, there's only the walk. We have no way of judging the ethics and intentions of our government except by what it actually does.

Combine this with the transparency that comes with digital technology and our leaders simply have no choice but to do the right thing. It takes more energy to prevent exposure than simply to behave consistently with the values we want to project.

Just as corporations are learning that they can no longer maintain low prices through overseas slave labor without getting caught, a democratic government can no longer maintain security through torture and coercion without being exposed. Betraying our respect for human dignity only makes us less resolved as a people, and less trusted as a nation.

We are just beginning to learn what makes a free people secure in a digital age. It really is different. The Cold War was an era of paper records, locked vaults and state secrets, for which a cloak-and-dagger mindset may have been appropriate. In a digital environment, our security comes not from our ability to keep our secrets but rather our ability to live our truth.

Douglas Rushkoff writes a regular column for CNN.com. He is a media theorist and the author of the new book "Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now."

Now On the Reading Stand:Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks

I have about 100 pages left to read, and even so, this network science book is already declared another winner.

Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives by Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler

Your colleague's husband's sister can make you fat, even if you don't know her. A happy neighbor has more impact on your happiness than a happy spouse. These startling revelations of how much we truly influence one another are revealed in the studies of Drs. Christakis and
Fowler, which have repeatedly made front-page news nationwide.

In Connected, the authors explain why emotions are contagious, how health behaviors spread, why the rich get richer, even how we find and choose our partners. Intriguing and entertaining, Connected overturns the notion of the individual and provides a revolutionary paradigm-that social networks influence our ideas, emotions, health, relationships, behavior, politics, and much more. It will change the way we think about every aspect of our lives.

From Publishers Weekly
Harvard professor and health care policy specialist Christakis (Death Foretold: Prophecy and Prognosis in Medical Care) became interested in social connectivity when observing that the mortality rate of spouses spike after a partner passes away. Christakis sought out a collaboration with Fowler, a health systems and political scientist, and together they compare topology (the hows of a given structure) across different social networks to better explain how participation and positioning enhances the effectiveness of an individual, and why the "whole" of a network is "greater than the sum of its parts." Five basic rules describe the relationship between individuals and their networks-including mutual adaptation, the influence of friends and friends' friends, the network's "life of its own"-but the results do more than promote the good of the group: they also spread contagions; create "epidemics" of obesity, smoking and substance abuse; disseminate fads and markets; alter voting patterns; and more. A thorough but popular take on a complex phenomenon, this volume offers an entertaining guide to the mechanics and importance of human networking. 13 b/w illustrations, 8-page color insert.
Reviews

"Christakis and Fowler have written the book on the exciting new science of social networks. With passion and precision, these two internationally renowned scientists expose the invisible webs that connect each of us to the other, and in so doing cast our lives here together in an astonishing new light. We think we are individuals who control our own fates, but as Christakis and Fowler demonstrate, we are merely cells in the nervous system of a much greater beast. If someone you barely know reads Connected, it could change your life forever. How? Read it yourself and find out."-- "The book has all sorts of interesting information about how our friends influence our lives, for better and for worse." -- (Daniel Gilbert, bestselling author of Stumbling on Happiness )

"[In a category of] works of brilliant originality that can stimulate and enlighten and can sometimes even change the way we understand the world." (The New York Times )

"Groundbreaking...." (Kirkus )

"An entertaining guide to the mechanics and importance of human networking." (Publishers Weekly )

"Engaging and insightful...sure-to-be a blockbuster...Connected succeeds in connecting with its audience." (SeedMagazine.com )

"Illuminating...The authors excel at drawing out the devil in the detail. [Connected] has profound implications." (New Scientist )

"Intriguing." (SmartMoney.com )

"Connected explores the startling intricacies of social networks." (O, The Oprah Magazine )

"The book has all sorts of interesting information about how our friends influence our lives, for better and for worse." (MarieClaire.com )

"Connected argues convincingly that it's not enough to understand how individuals behave. The book details examples of how individual behaviors affect other members of a social network."-ScienceNews.com

"This wonderful book by Christakis and Fowler could well be one of the most important works of the decade. In a clear and engaging way, the authors apply their creative and provocative findings on social networks to understanding not only our social relationships but also the forces that shape our world. Full of fascinating stories and examples, this book is essential in understanding our very nature. A must read." (Ed Diener, Joseph Smiley Distinguished Professor of Psychology University of Illinois and author of Happiness )

"Fascinating... the dozens of interconnected stories of research findings by Chriastkis and Fowler and others leave me eager to learn about the next wave of research in this area." (Andrew Gelman, author of Red State, Blue State )

"What makes us human -- for good and bad -- is our social nature. Nowhere is this complex, wonderful, and sometimes dark part of us more clearly revealed than in Connected. In a social world exploding with new ways to interact, Connected is a user's guide for ourselves in the 21st century." (Dan Ariely, James B. Duke Professor of Behavioral Economics and author of Predictably Irrational )

"A God's-eye view of social relationships that may make you dizzy. Every business leader, teacher, and parent should see their life from this vantage." (Chip Heath, author Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die )

"An old adage tells us, 'You can't chose your family.' After reading Connected, you will find that you can't choose many things in your life. Others choose them for you! Christakis and Fowler take a fresh look at an old idea: that who we know matters. Connected is a lively, well-written account of social networks and their power to shape our lives. Complicated ideas become easy to understand and the mysteries of science unfold in front of your eyes. The world becomes smaller and more meaningful after reading this engaging book." (Sudhir Venkatesh, author of Gang Leader for a Day )

"From health and happiness to fads and financial markets, Christakis and Fowler take us on a dazzling tour of the world of social networks. And in showing how these networks matter in our individual lives, the authors also make the deeper point that "network thinking" is the key to understanding how all our lives fit together."- Duncan Watts, author of Six Degrees