Truths

Karolina Tatarenkova: Self-Help Blog Post: Overcoming the Fear of NotBeing Good Enough

When was the last time you felt that you had to prove something to the people you love? How often do you doubt your ability and courage to achieve something you deeply desire?  How often you do you feel like you're never good enough for your parents, for example? No matter what you do, you never even get "That's great! I'm so proud of you!"  -- or maybe they do tell you so, but only on occasion.

When you feel that you're not good enough, you often find yourself in isolation, sitting in the dark room, abandoned and longing for love from the people you have never received much love from, even in your childhood. Here is a process for you to take on in order to be less likely to be lost in the fear of not being enough. 

Uncover the True Message

When you experience pain as a result of interaction with other people, it's because you tend to personalize everything they say or don't say, and take it to heart. I realize that the opinion of people whose love you have never received and always cherished is precious to you, like water in the desert. But it doesn't have to be. It's not all about you. Actions speak louder than words. You probably have heard this saying many time before. The actions through which they show you love are according to their dictionary of how love is expressed, not yours.  So, don't expect them to live life according to your terms. 

Nurture Self-Love

In order to expand the love you experience, you need to embark on a spiritual journey to discover unconditional love for yourself. Love is a choice, and if you have never experienced love, it's because you never chose to love. Love can be a healing force that unifies everybody. You can love somebody without needing anything in return from them. That's where freedom comes in.  

Embark on the Journey of Self-Discovery

I have a challenge for you over the next 21 days. Imagine that you're somewhere on an amazingly beautiful island, enjoying the sacred music of the ocean. You can't really see yourself because the sun shines so bright. From this place of serenity and tranquility, write down three things you love about yourself. The deeper you explore, the greater sense of totality and personal power will come in. 

What's Your Authentic Mission in Life?

I follow my passion and my heart. I know you do, too. Why is it that you still find yourself rushing to prove to others that you deserve to be loved and to love? Why? It's powerful question. We spend too much time trying to figure out why that we forget that it doesn't really matter.  It's rarely about why. 

If you rely on somebody's validation of your success, you will never be free. You will never be able to create art and fulfill your passion. It will be so easy for anyone to derail you off your path. The next time you are uncertain about your success -- reflect back on why you are in this business, this relationship, or this career in the first place.  

Direct Your Focus on Living Fully

Stop wasting your life and drowning in suffering because you have never had the love and attention that you deserved from your parents. You will create obstacles by focusing on what you can't have. By referring back to the memories of your parents never encouraging you for the great achievements that should have made them outrageously happy, you reinforce the limiting belief of not being good enough and worthy of people's attention.  

Have Fun Achieving Your Life Mission

Coaching and counselling people, I can confidently say that you can't force people to see from your own reality. We all have our own reality, and each reality is valid. Accept that you can't control people or even change their behaviour by telling them not to do something. We all have been emotionally wounded at some point of our lives.  

However, some chose not to allow that wound to stop them from finding fulfillment in life, whereas others continue picking that scab, never allowing it to disappear. It might have been their fault that they never loved you the way you wanted them, but it's your fault to allow it define who you are in the present.  


Let It Go

It might be scary to let go of the feeling of not being good enough. Maybe it's time to forgive and move on. You might think that not forgiving others for not loving you that way you wanted them to serves you as a protection. But it doesn't. A fearless life is life with passion and courage. In fact, it poisons you, your soul and your passion for life, because not only will they have robbed you in the past, they will have robbed you of the future as well. No one can take away your future from you.

Unforgiveness is self-fulfilling because it has everything to do with you and nothing with another person. You trap yourself in isolation and loneliness by trying to prove that you're worthy of love. It feeds this imprisonment. Problems need energy to live. Find people in your life who support you and empower you to become a better version of yourself.  

Continuously Realign Goals with Your Life Mission

Next time you feel like you're not enough for your parents, grandparents, lover etc., tell yourself the following: "Every time I'm wasting my energy on where I have been, I'm not going to have the energy, audacity and courage I need to energize where I'm going."

Let it go...You want to cry, cry. You want to ponder, ponder. But never ever again let anyone rob you of your happiness, authenticity and desires.

John Muir Quotes

Until You Make the Unconscious Concious...

Pablo Picasso

Pablo Picasso

Pablo Picasso

Pablo Picasso

Pablo Picasso

Symbols of Wholeness: Mandalas

“In the products of the unconscious we discover mandala symbols, that is, circular and quaternity figures which express wholeness, and whenever we wish to express wholeness, we employ just such figures. ”

“ The mandala is an archetypal image whose occurrence is attested throughout the ages. It signifies the wholeness of the Self. This circular image represents the wholeness of the psychic ground or, to put it in mythic terms, the divinity incarnate in man.”

Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams and Reflections

Carl Jung

Art by Carl Jung

Art by Carl Jung

Art by Carl Jung

Carl Jung

Carl Jung: The Red Book

The most influential unpublished work in the history of psychology. When Carl Jung embarked on an extended self-exploration he called his “confrontation with the unconscious,” the heart of it was The Red Book, a large, illuminated volume he created between 1914 and 1930. Here he developed his principle theories -- of the archetypes, the collective unconscious, and the process of individuation -- that transformed psychotherapy from a practice concerned with treatment of the sick into a means for higher development of the personality.

While Jung considered The Red Book to be his most important work, only a handful of people had ever seen it. Now, in a complete facsimile and translation, it is available to scholars and the general public. It is an astonishing example of calligraphy and art on a par with The Book of Kells and the illuminated manuscripts of William Blake. This publication of The Red Book is a watershed that will cast new light on the making of modern psychology.  212 color illustrations.

Photo portrait of Carl Jung by Henri Cartier-Bresson

The Dalai Lama on the Irony of Man

Joseph Campbell Memes

Kickbully Link

If you feel bullied at work, check out the resource linked below-- Kickbully:

http://www.kickbully.com

Dawn Gluskin: 37 Life Lessons in 37 Years

By Dawn Gluskin

Today is my 37th birthday. And, I must say, it's been a pretty interesting ride so far. As I look back over the years and many phases of my Iife, I realize how each stage, success, stumble, triumph and heartache has had a significant impact on where I stand right now. And despite the rough patches, I love it all.

From a shy yet studious little girl, to an artsy and somewhat rebellious teenager, to a happy-go-lucky big-dreaming 20-something with a bit of a wild side, my metamorphosis were plentiful in my early years. Now into my 30s, my heart has grown a few sizes larger and overflows with motherly love as I've discovered what matters most in life. And my entrepreneurial experiences have been a crash course in lessons of life, business and self that, at times, brought me to the brink of what I thought I could handle, only to be rewarded nicely for sticking it out and seeing it through.

As I continue to step more fully into myself each day and bring to light my mission of helping others build their own dreams with joy and ease, I've racked my brain to think of my top 37 life lessons so far. On this day of celebrating another trip around the sun, I share these with you and hope you find inspiration as I have. 

Top 37 Life Lessons So Far

Happiness comes from within. We spend way too much of our lives looking for outside validation and approval that eludes us. Turns out, it's been an inside job all along. Go inward.

Be grateful for everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. Our entire life is a precious gift. The pleasure, the pain -- it's all part of our path.

Subtle shifts in perception will transform your entire life. When feeling fearful, angry, hurt, simply choose to see a situation differently.

In being true to yourself, you can't possibly make everybody else happy. Still, it's better to risk being disliked for living your truth than to be loved for what you are pretending to be.

The world is our mirror. What we love in others is a reflection of what we love about ourselves. What upsets us about others is a strong indication of what we need to look at more closely within ourselves.

Everybody comes into our life for a reason. It is up to us to be open to the lesson they are meant to teach. The more someone rubs us the wrong way, the greater the lesson. Take notes.

Trust. In troubled times, just know that the Universe has your back and everything is going to be alright. If you're not there yet, trust in hindsight you will understand. Your higher good is being supported, always.

Never take things personally. What others do is a reflection of what's going on in their own life and probably has little or nothing to do with you.

A walk in nature cures a lot. Taking in some fresh air and the beautiful landscape of this earth is amazingly head-clearing, grounding, and mood-lifting. Bonus: You can learn a whole lot about life in your observation of the awesomeness which is nature.

Hurt people hurt people. Love them anyway. Although, it's totally okay to love them from a distance.

You have to feel it to heal it. Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them because the only way out is through. The hurt of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.

Perfectionism is an illusion. A painful one at that. Ease up. Strive for excellence, sure, but allow yourself room to make mistakes and permission to be happy regardless of outcome.

Take the blinders off. Don't become so laser-focused on your own goals and desires that you miss out on the beauty in life and the people around you. The world is stunningly beautiful when you walk around with eyes wide open.

Celebrate the journey. It's not all about the destination. Savor all of your successes, even the small ones.

Forgiveness is not so much about the other person. It's about you and for you so that you can gain the peace and freedom you deserve. Forgive quickly and often.

We are all incredibly intuitive. When we learn to become still and listen, we can tap into some pretty amazing primal wisdom. Listen to the quiet whisper of your heart. It knows the way.

Let your soul shine! Be authentic. There is nobody else on this earth just like you. Step into your truth wholeheartedly and live and breathe your purpose.

We are powerful creators. Seriously, bad-asses. With intention, focus, and persistence -- anything is possible. Know this.

I am full of light. You are full of light. We are all full of light. Some cast shadows on their own brightness. Be a beacon of light to others and show them the way.

Don't take life too seriously! Nobody gets out alive anyway. Smile. Be goofy. Take chances. Have fun.

Surround yourself with people who love and support you. And, love and support them right back! Life is too short for anything less.

Learn the delicate dance. Have big beautiful dreams and vision. Chase them with much passion. But, also hold on to them all ever so lightly. Be flexible and willing to flow as life comes at you.

Giving is the secret to receiving. Share your wisdom, your love, your talents. Share freely and be amazed at how much beauty in life flows back to you.

On that note, be careful not to give too much. If you empty out your own cup completely, you will have nothing left to give. Balance is key.

Say "YES!" to everything that lights you up. Say "no", unapologetically, to anything that doesn't excite you or you don't have the bandwidth for. Time is one of our most precious resources that we can never get back. Manage it wisely.

Sometimes we outgrow friendships. It doesn't mean they're bad or you're bad. It just means you're on different paths. Hold them in your heart, but when they start to hurt or hold you back, it's time to give space or let go.

Fear is often a very good indicator of what we really want and need in our life. Let it be your compass and enjoy the exciting adventure it leads you on.

Overcoming your fears is one of the most empowering things you can ever do for yourself. You'll prove to yourself you can truly accomplish anything! Major self-confidence booster.

Our bodies are our vehicle to our dreams. Treat them with love and fuel them with the best health to feel vibrant and energized. But, never obsess over image. Looks are subjective and will fade in time, anyway. Feeling good, healthy, and comfortable in our own skin is what matters most.

Let those that you love know it often and enthusiastically. You can never say it or show it too much. Your time, total presence, love, and genuine concern for their wellness is the greatest gift of all.

The present moment is where it's at. It's the only one promised to any of us. Learn from your past and enjoy the beautiful memories, but don't cling or let them haunt you. And, dream big and be excited about the future, but don't become obsessed. Love this moment, always.

Life is full of highs and lows. We need them both to grow to our fullest potential. Just hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

We are all connected as one human family. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else -- just at different stages of our journeys and dealing with life the best way we know how. Recognize that the other person is you.

Practice daily gratitude for all the blessings in your life, large and small. Not only is this a high vibe practice that feels amazing, in practicing regularly you are creating space for even more abundance -- of joy, love, health, and prosperity.

We are not the center of the universe, although our ego can make us feel that way at times. Step outside of that way of thinking and see the world and other people's perspective in a whole new beautiful light.

The world needs more love, light, and laughter. Go be love.

You are the guru. For much of our lives, we have been told what do, how to think, what looks good, what "success" is. You don't have to buy into any of it. Feel free to peel back the layers. 

Think for yourself. Break the mold. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will be ridiculously happy.

In looking back at your own life, realize that every high and low is all part of your amazing story. Own it! 

Take cues and guidance from the universe and you will continue to go on an incredible ride as you fully step into your truth and power.

Age is just a number, but the higher it gets, the more wisdom and life experience we've amassed. You are never going to be younger than you are in this present moment again. So embrace it, love it, and enjoy it fully.

Here's to many more beautiful years of seeking-truth, questioning all that does not sit right, and making your greatest impact in the world.

Humanistic Psychology (The Third Force)

DC's self-actualized superhero, Mister Terrific. Silver Age-era art by Mike Sekowsky and Murphy Anderson.

From yee Wikipedia:

Humanistic Psychology (The Third Force) is a psychological perspective which rose to prominence in the mid-20th century in response to Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory.

With its roots running from Socrates through the Renaissance, this approach emphasizes an individual's inherent drive towards self-actualization and creativity.

In the context of the tertiary sector beginning to produce more than the secondary sector, the humanistic psychology, which was sometimes referred to as a "third force," as distinct from the two more traditional approaches to psychology, psychoanalysis and behaviorism, began to be seen as more relevant than the older approaches.

It also led to a new approach to human capital with the creativity -- previously seen as work prerequisite for artists only -- beginning for the first time in human history to be seen as a work prerequisite for employees that were in an increasing number working in cognitive-cultural economy.

Its ideas have influenced the theory and practice of education and social work, particularly in North America, as well as the emerging field of transpersonal psychology.

It typically holds that people are inherently good. It adopts a holistic approach to human existence and pays special attention to such phenomena as creativity, free will, and human potential. Its principal U.S. professional organizations are the Association for Humanistic Psychology and the Society for Humanistic Psychology (Division 32 of the American Psychological Association).

Early sources

One of humanistic psychology's early sources was the work of Carl Rogers. Rogers' focus was to ensure that the developmental processes led to healthier, if not more creative, personality functioning. The term 'actualizing tendency' was also coined by Rogers, and was a concept that eventually led Abraham Maslow to study self-actualization as one of the needs of humans. Rogers and Maslow introduced this positive, humanistic psychology in response to what they viewed as the overly pessimistic view of psychoanalysis.

The other sources include the philosophies of existentialism and phenomenology.

Conceptual origins

The humanistic approach has its roots in phenomenological and existentialist thought (see Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Heidegger, Merleau-Ponty and Sartre). Eastern philosophy and psychology also play a central role in humanistic psychology, as well as Judeo-Christian philosophies of personalism, as each shares similar concerns about the nature of human existence and consciousness.

As behaviorism grew out of Ivan Pavlov's work with the conditioned reflex, and laid the foundations for academic psychology in the United States associated with the names of John B. Watson and B. F. Skinner, Abraham Maslow gave behaviorism the name "the second force".

Historically "the first force" were psychologists like Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, Erik Erikson, Carl Jung, Erich Fromm, Karen Horney, Otto Rank, Melanie Klein, Harry Stack Sullivan, and others.

In the late 1930s, psychologists, interested in the uniquely human issues, such as the self, self-actualization, health, hope, love, creativity, nature, being, becoming, individuality, and meaning—that is, a concrete understanding of human existence, included Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, and Clark Moustakas, who were interested in founding a professional association dedicated to a psychology focused on these features of human capital demanded by post-industrial society.

The humanistic psychology perspective is summarized by five core principles or postulates of humanistic psychology first articulated in an article written by James Bugental in 1964 and adapted by Tom Greening, psychologist and long-time editor of the Journal of Humanistic Psychology. The five basic principles of humanistic psychology are:

1. Human beings, as human, supersede the sum of their parts. They cannot be reduced to components.

2. Human beings have their existence in a uniquely human context, as well as in a cosmic ecology.

3. Human beings are aware and aware of being aware—i.e., they are conscious. Human consciousness always includes an awareness of oneself in the context of other people.

4. Human beings have some choice and, with that, responsibility.

5. Human beings are intentional, aim at goals, are aware that they cause future events, and seek meaning, value, and creativity.

While humanistic psychology is a specific division within the American Psychological Association (Division 32), humanistic psychology is not so much a discipline within psychology as a perspective on the human condition that informs psychological research and practice.

For more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanistic_psychology

Abraham Maslow short book on the Peak Experience.

Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy Of Needs" A Pathway to Greater Personal Potental and Satisfaction

Smirk readers -- hope to meet you at the tip-top!