Sage Advice About Self-Talk

Amy Morin: Correcting Thinking Errors with CBT Techniques In Order toBuild Mental Strength

Mental strength requires a three-pronged approach -- managing our thoughts, regulating our emotions, and behaving productively despite our circumstances. While all three areas can be a struggle, it's often our thoughts that make it most difficult to be mentally strong.

As we go about our daily routines, our internal monologue narrates our experience. Our self-talk guides our behavior and influences the way we interact with others. It also plays a major role in how you feel about yourself, other people, and the world in general.

Quite often, however, our conscious thoughts aren't realistic. Instead, they're irrational and inaccurate. Believing our irrational thoughts can lead to a variety of problems, including communication issues, relationship problems, and unhealthy decisions.

Whether you're striving to reach your personal or professional goals, the key to success often starts with recognizing and replacing inaccurate thoughts. The most common thinking errors can be divided into these categories, which are adapted from David Burns book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.

All-or-Nothing Thinking 

Sometimes we see things as being black or white. Perhaps you have two categories of coworkers in your mind -- the good ones and the bad ones. Or, maybe you look at each project as either a success or a failure. Recognize the shades of gray, rather than putting things in terms of all good or all bad.

Overgeneralizing 

It's easy to take one particular event and generalize it to the rest of our lives. If you failed to close one deal, you may decide, "I'm bad at closing deals." Or if you are treated poorly by one family member, you might think, "Everyone in my family is rude." Take notice of times where an incident may apply to a specific situation only, instead of all other areas of life.

Filtering Out the Positive 

If nine good things happen, and one bad thing, sometimes we filter out the good and hone in on the bad. Maybe we declare we had a bad day, despite the positive events that occurred. Or maybe we look back at our performance and declare it was terrible because we made a single mistake. Filtering out the positive can prevent you from establishing a realistic outlook on a situation. Develop a balanced outlook by noticing both the positive and the negative.

Mind-Reading 

We can never be sure what someone else is thinking. Yet, everyone occasionally assumes they know what's going on in someone else's mind. Thinking things like, "He must have thought I was stupid at the meeting," makes inferences that aren't necessarily based on reality. Remind yourself that you may not be making accurate guesses about other people's perceptions.

Catastrophizing 

Sometimes we think things are much worse than they actually are. If you fall short on meeting your financial goals one month you may think, "I'm going to end up bankrupt," or "I'll never have enough money to retire," even though there's no evidence that the situation is nearly that dire. It can be easy to get swept up into catastrophizing the situation once your thoughts become negative. When you begin predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself that there are many other potential outcomes.

Emotional Reasoning 

Our emotions aren't always based on reality but, we often assume those feelings are rational. If you're worried about making a career change, you might assume, "If I'm this scared about it, I just shouldn't change jobs." Or, you may be tempted to assume, "If I feel like a loser, I must be a loser." It's essential to recognize that emotions, just like our thoughts, aren't always based on the facts.

Labeling 

Labeling involves putting a name to something. Instead of thinking, "He made a mistake," you might label your neighbor as "an idiot." Labelling people and experiences places them into categories that are often based on isolated incidents. Notice when you try to categorize things and work to avoid placing mental labels on everything.

Fortune-telling 

Although none of us know what will happen in the future, we sometimes like to try our hand at fortunetelling. We think things like, "I'm going to embarrass myself tomorrow," or "If I go on a diet, I'll probably just gain weight." These types of thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're not careful. When you're predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself of all the other possible outcomes.

Personalization 

As much as we'd like to say we don't think the world revolves around us, it's easy to personalize everything. If a friend doesn't call back, you may assumea, "She must be mad at me," or if a co-worker is grumpy, you might conclude, "He doesn't like me." When you catch yourself personalizing situations, take time to point out other possible factors that may be influencing the circumstances.

Unreal Ideal 

Making unfair comparisons about ourselves and other people can ruin our motivation. Looking at someone who has achieved much success and thinking, "I should have been able to do that," isn't helpful, especially if that person had some lucky breaks or competitive advantages along the way. Rather than measuring your life against someone else's, commit to focusing on your own path to success.

Fixing Thinking Errors: 

Once you begin recognizing thinking errors, you can begin working on trying to challenge those thoughts. Look for exceptions to the rule and gather evidence that your thoughts aren't 100-percent true. Then, you can begin replacing those thoughts with more realistic thoughts.

The goal doesn't need to be to replace negative thoughts with overly idealistic or positive ones. Instead replace them with realistic thoughts. Changing the way you think takes a lot of effort initially, but with practice, you'll notice big changes -- not just in the way you think, but also in the way you feel and behave. You can make peace with the past, look at the present differently, and think about the future in a way that will support your chances of reaching your goals.

Dr. Barbara Markway Ph.D.: Reasons to Refrain from Judging People

Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. It might be over small things, like a co-worker who took too long of a lunch break. Or it might be over bigger issues, such as a person who behaves selfishly or hurts our feelings. 

Psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach frequently tells this story: Imagine you are walking through the woods and you see a small dog. It looks cute and friendly. You approach and move to pet the dog. Suddenly it snarls and tries to bite you. The dog no longer seems cute and you feel fear and possibly anger. Then, as the wind blows, the leaves on the ground are carried away and you see the dog has one of its legs caught in a trap. Now, you feel compassion for the dog. You know it became aggressive because it is in pain and is suffering.

What can we learn from this story? How can we become less judgmental? 

Don’t blame yourself. 

We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. When we see a dog (or a person) that might bite us (literally or metaphorically), of course we feel threatened. We go into fight-flight-freeze mode, and are unable to see the myriad possible reasons for another’s behavior. We get tight and defensive. This is a normal first reaction. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode.

Be mindful. 

Although judgment is a natural instinct, try to catch yourself before you speak, or send that nasty email and do any potential harm. You can’t get your words back. Pause. See if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one. After all, like that dog in the trap, we really don’t know the reasons for someone’s behavior.

Depersonalize. 

When someone disagrees with us or somehow makes our life difficult, remember that it’s typically not about us. It may be about their pain or struggle. Why not give others the benefit of the doubt? “Never underestimate the pain of a person," Will Smith said, "because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”

Look for basic goodness. 

This takes practice, as our minds naturally scan for the negative, but if we try, we can almost always find something good about another person.

Repeat the mantra, “Just like me.” 

Remember, we are more alike than different. When I feel critical of someone, I try to remind myself that the other person loves their family just like I do, and wants to be happy and free of suffering, just like I do. Most important, that person makes mistakes, just like I do.

Reframe. 

When someone does something you don’t like, perhaps think of it as they are simply solving a problem in a different way than you would. Or maybe they have a different timetable than you do. This may help you be more open-minded and accepting of their behavior. The Dalai Lama says: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.”

  

Look at your own behavior. 

Sometimes, we may be judging someone for something that we do ourselves, or have done. For example, the next time you find yourself yelling at someone while you’re driving, ask yourself, “Have I ever driven poorly?” Of course, we all have.

Educate yourself. 

When people do things that are annoying, they may have a hidden disability. For example, some people with poor social skills may have Asperger’s syndrome. So if someone’s invading your personal space (as someone with Asperger’s might), remember again, it’s not about you. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

Give the person the benefit of the doubt. 

Someone once told me, no one wakes up in the morning and says, "I think I'm going to be a jerk today." Most of us do the best we can with the resources we have at the moment.

Feel good about you. 

Brene´ Brown says: “If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because were using each other as a launching pad out of her own perceived deficiency.”

And finally, remember that judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

The Change/Acceptance Cycle

Mental Health Graphics

CBT: Feel Good About Yourself

Alexandra Sifferlin Blog: How You Deal With Your Emotions Can Influence Your Anxiety

When faced with a challenge, whether you deny the problems it poses or dive in to solve them in a positive way may determine how much anxiety you feel overall.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 40 million Americans ages 18 and older are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder every year.

To dig deeper into who may be at greatest risk, investigators from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign surveyed 179 healthy men and women and asked them how they dealt with their emotions and how their answers correlated with their level of anxiety in a variety of settings.

Previous studies hinted that different strategies that people use to handle emotional situations could impact how much anxiety they felt in general; those who tended to focus on positive ways of resolving difficult circumstances, for example, experienced less nervousness, tension and negative emotions compared with those who avoided challenging situations and suppressed negative and uncomfortable feelings.

The scientists in the current study, published in the journal Emotion, wanted to explore the relationship further to see whether the more positive emotional strategy could offer more resilience and protection against anxiety than the suppressive approach.

The participants all answered questionnaires designed to measure how much they were focused on achieving goals, whether they tended to control their emotions by reappraising challenges in a more positive way or whether they tried to ignore and suppress difficult feelings.

For example, they rated how closely their behavior aligned with the statements, “I control my emotions by changing the way I think about the situation I am in,” and “I keep my emotions to myself.” They also responded to questions about their anxiety level during different situations such as when giving a report to a group or going to a party.

Comparing their responses, the researchers found that the participants who regularly reframed what was happening to them to view their situation in a better light reported less severe anxiety than the participants who suppressed their emotions in trying situations.

This strategy is called reappraisal, and those who practiced the tactic were more likely to view tough situations as challenges rather than problems, and reported less overall anxiety and social anxiety compared with the participants who tried to ignore their emotions instead.

The results suggest that there may be behavior-based ways of addressing anxiety that people might be able to learn. Seeing difficult experiences as opportunities rather than setbacks requires being flexible enough to find new solutions to problems.

People who tend to take this approach, say the study authors, are goal-oriented and able to put individual situations into perspective, realizing that a single trying situation doesn’t necessarily signal doom.

Those who focus on trying to avoid negative situations, while perhaps being proactive, may open themselves up to internalizing symptoms of anxiety and stress more, which can have harmful effects on health. Suppressing emotions may not allow for a productive outlet for frustration or fear, and that could make those who adopt this approach more vulnerable to anxiety.

But the researchers say the findings don’t suggest that anxiety is an all-or-nothing state. A little anxiety can work to a person’s benefit if it enforces concentration and efficiency, like getting work done on a deadline.

There may also be situations in which different strategies for handling—and even controlling—emotions is appropriate. In some workplace or social settings, for example, having the self-control to refrain from acting out or saying something regrettable could save a job or friendship.

Not surprisingly, the researchers say it’s about being flexible enough to know how much to regulate emotions and learning to be more flexible when faced with challenging situations.

Being adaptive can come more easily to some than others, but many of the strategies for regulating emotions in this way during crises can be learned.

“This is something you can change,” said Nicole Llewellyn, the lead author of the study and a graduate student in psychology at the University of Illinois, in a statement.

“You can’t do much to affect the genetic or environmental factors that contribute to anxiety. But you can change your emotion-regulation strategies.” And those changes could translate into a more lasting resilience against stress.

The Healing Power of My Navajo Jewelry

I have had great success treating my OCD ruminations with Navajo jewelry -- not through any mystical properties of the gemstones (BTW, Hypno-Don doesn't poo-poo that), but rather through a tried-and-true CBT technique of refocused attention/redirection.

Obsessive thoughts or ruminations are one of the most disturbing and tiresome hallmarks of the OCD/Anxiety Disorder spectrum.

There's a well-known technique to remind you not to continue ruminating, which depends on being able to reroute your thoughts. You put a rubber band around one wrist, and when you find yourself ruminating -- snap it, and redirect your thoughts. Do it often enough, the theory goes, and you'll learn to stop yourself.



Snap it!


For a time, I tried this rubber band technique, with only limited success, and  I've  since discovered a much more appealing variation on the redirection technique.

The last year or so, I've taken to wearing beautifully hand-crafted Navajo gemstone and silver jewelry on my neck, hands, and wrists.

Whenever I experience a worrisome thought that is creeping in, or even an uncomfortably idle moment, I can easily redirect myself by contemplating the sublime esthetic qualities of  wearable art.

I can focus my attention on my jewelry anytime I please, avoiding the "on-time, right now," schedule-keeping angst created by looking at a wristwatch. I can instead enjoy the timeless beauty and long-time tradition of this rock-steady artform.

I also find it a much-needed counterbalance to our quick-paced, ever-changing, disposable, techno-world with its wretched excess of  planned-obsolesence. Instead, I experience the sublime sensation of  "flow."

This looks much classier than a rubber band, right? Of course, nice things cost money...

The heavy jewelry also makes me aware of my somtosensory system, and grounds my feelings...

From Wiki:

The somatosensory system is a diverse sensory system comprising the receptors and processing centers to produce the sensory modalities such as touch, temperature, proprioception (body position), and nociception (pain). The sensory receptors cover the skin and epithelia, skeletal muscles, bones and joints, internal organs, and the cardiovascular system.

While touch (also called tactile perception or tactual perception) is considered one of the five traditional senses, the impression of touch is formed from several modalities. In medicine, the colloquial term "touch" is usually replaced with "somatic senses" to better reflect the variety of mechanisms involved.

Somatic senses are sometimes referred to as somesthetic senses, with the understanding that somesthesis includes touch, proprioception and (depending on usage) also haptic perception.

The system reacts to diverse stimuli using different receptors: thermoreceptors, nociceptors, mechanoreceptors and chemoreceptors. Transmission of information from the receptors passes via sensory nerves through tracts in the spinal cord and into the brain. Processing primarily occurs in the primary somatosensory area in the parietal lobe of the cerebral cortex.

The cortical homunculus was devised by Wilder Penfield.

At its simplest, the system works when activity in a sensory neuron is triggered by a specific stimulus such as heat; this signal eventually passes to an area in the brain uniquely attributed to that area on the body—this allows the processed stimulus to be felt at the correct location.

The point-to-point mapping of the body surfaces in the brain is called a homunculus and is essential in the creation of a body image. This brain-surface ("cortical") map is not immutable, however. Dramatic shifts can occur in response to stroke or injury.

Andrea Wachter Blog: On CBT Self-Talk

Saul Steinberg cartoon.

by Andrea Wachter

We all talk to ourselves all day long. Our minds are basically like recorders that play back everything that's been downloaded into them. The quality of our lives is drastically affected by our internal dialogue. Even more than our life situations, it's our self-talk that can make or break our day.

Our minds are naturally active. That's their job. And we need them to help us tend to many things in our lives. But sometimes our minds seem to be working overtime! Ideally, we all have some moments when our minds are quiet and we are simply present. But when our minds are active, we have various other internal soundtrack options.

The first is neutral. A neutral internal dialogue might be deciding whether to go to the store on the way to work or on the way home. Perhaps part of you wants to stop and part of you wants to head straight home. There are no strong feelings and no moral dilemmas. You can think through the pros and cons and make your decision. Nobody gets hurt!

Another internal soundtrack is positive. An example of this is when you feel good about something you did or said and you internally praise yourself. Now, that is something we do not need to change. If you do experience positive self-talk, I say keep it up. I know many of us were raised with messages about getting a "big head" or conceited but I am not talking about being arrogant here. I am simply talking about being kind to yourself and praising yourself regularly. Positive self-talk is about knowing that you are a good person, and that you deserve praise sometimes, even though you are imperfect like everyone else.

Next on the soundtrack possibilities is negative self-talk. We all have an inner dialogue that arises from all the negative and painful things we have ever heard and experienced. It's like a program in your computer. The more painful experiences you have had and/or the more sensitive you are, the louder and stronger your internal negative soundtrack is likely to be.

In large part, we all learned to speak to ourselves from the way our parents or caregivers spoke to us. As we get older, this style turns into what I call our inner "Mom-a-logue" or "Dad-a-logue."

If our parents were critical or negative, it's not that they were horrible people; they were likely just speaking to us the way they were spoken to or the way that they were left feeling from the way they were spoken to. So the negative self-talk baton gets passed down from generation to generation.

Consequently, some people have very loud, critical Mom-and-Dad-a-logues and this can cause an array of problems.

Since most of us tend to think or speak to ourselves the way we were spoken to as children or the way we felt as children, I think it's fair to say that most of us have been doing it a long time. So it is likely a habit that will take desire, awareness and practice to change. The good news is that it is possible to retrain your brain, erase negative self-talk tracks and upload new ones.

So, if negative self-talk is on one end of a spectrum and conceited narcissism is on the other, a healthy internal soundtrack is the range in the middle. This range is where you have positive regard for yourself.

You know you don't have to be perfect. You know you are a good person and that you are no better or worse than anyone else.

As a family counselor, I work with people who are struggling with a variety of issues, everything from addictions and depression to anxiety and grief. What I notice is that while the symptoms may differ, most of the people I see have a hard time being kind to themselves. I often find myself asking why.

Most everyone had some positive experiences as children. Even people from the most negative of childhoods can usually come up with a few positive memories. Why don't we focus more on those? Unfortunately, negative memories and experiences seem to stick more than the positive ones. It's just the way we are wired.

Imagine if someone massaged your back for an hour and punched you really hard for one second. It would likely be the one-second punch you would remember as opposed to the hour of comforting massage. Or say you spent a few hours with a friend and it was really pleasant and then they said one sentence that was really hurtful. You would most likely remember and be the most impacted from that one sentence as opposed to the hundreds of other sentences that were spoken in the time you were together.

As children, we did not have logical minds that knew the difference between feeling bad and being bad. When difficult things happened many of us decided we were bad, and this contributed to our internal program of self-talk. Painful events happened to all of us, in our families and in our lives, and most of us didn't know how to distinguish between feeling bad and thinking we must be bad. So we ended up with a feeling of shame that for many turned into a deep, core belief. But shame comes from the mistaken thought or judgment, "I am bad." And there is a big difference between something feeling bad and the thought that youare a bad person.

Many people have a core sense of shame and inadequacy and think that if they could just get the relationship they want or the body they like or the job they dream of, etc. they will then be deemed worthy and valuable.

But it doesn't work that way. If their deepest belief about themselves is that they are unworthy, ugly, stupid, fat, etc., nothing external will fix that. These thoughts will need an internal upgrade.

It might seem like bad news that our thoughts are constant and that they have so much power they can actually make us feel horrible.

But the good news is that if we can make ourselves feel badly with our thoughts, then we can also learn to delete and replace them, which will then change the way we speak to ourselves, treat ourselves and feel about ourselves.

Steps For Upgrading Your Self-Talk

1. Desire: The first step in making a change is having the desire. Once you have the desire to improve your self-talk, you have begun to get ready for an internal upgrade!

2. Awareness: When we have a negative inner recording that has been playing for years, it becomes a habit. Oftentimes we kick into it without even noticing. So as soon as you become aware that a negative recording is playing, you have broken the unconscious trance and are halfway there.

3. Compassion: This process is about unlearning a very ingrained habit and we are not going to do it perfectly or immediately. Being kind and compassionate is the way to progress way more than beating yourself up. Self-hate got you here, it is not going to get you out!

4. Creative Comebacks: This is where you replace and/or respond to your negative thoughts. Try responding to a negative thought the way you might respond to a friend or a young child who was saying the same mean things about themselves.

Here are a few examples of creative ways to respond to your self-criticism:

• "Oh you again?"
• "Says who?"
• "And your point is?"
• "It's not true and you're not helping."
• "I'm not that bad, give me a break."
• "You might be trying to help by whipping me into shape but if you were going to be helpful, I think you would have helped by now."
• "You're just an old recording and I'm deleting you now."

Even if you don't fully believe it, keep practicing. You were not born with internal negative statements about yourself, you learned, practiced and perfected them and you can do the same with creative comebacks.

To replace the negative with something positive try some of these, or make up your own:

• "I'm a good person even when I make a mistake."
• "I don't have to be perfect to be loveable."
• "I have many successes, I am not a failure."

Try picturing your thoughts as pop-up windows on a computer and imagine closing them. Pretend your thoughts are on the television or radio and imagine turning them off. It helps some people to imagine they are letting smoke out of a chimney as they let their negative thoughts go.

Others find it helpful to talk back to their internal negative statements by either disagreeing in a strong way or reacting in a compassionate, softer way. For many, it helps to consciously bring themselves back to the present moment and remember that their thoughts aren't facts, they are like movies playing in our minds.

Whether you are visual, auditory or more in your feelings, you can get creative and find ways that work for you to change, stop or replace your habitual recordings.

Your negative soundtracks have likely been playing for many years. It doesn't help that we are surrounded by a culture that supports negative self-talk so this will be an ongoing practice. The way we talk to ourselves is a habit that can be changed with awareness and willingness.

With practice and patience it can become natural to speak to yourself with kindness and upgrade your internal soundtrack for good.

HuffingtonPost Blog: Ten Sleep Mistakes You're Probably Making

Too many of us are guilty of a prime sleep mistake: underestimating its importance. Whereas nutrition and exercise are widely acknowledged as so-called "pillars of health," sleep, while well-deserving of such high praise, is often maligned as something that's "for the weak."

But even those of us who have learned to value sufficient shut-eye aren't necessarily sleep saints. In fact, there are a number of myths that derail us and mistakes that prevent us from peacefully drifting off to the Land of Nod. Some of the biggest ones are in the slideshow below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/19/sleep-mistakes_n_3461583.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

Danielle Hark Blog: Five Ways Acting Like a Kid Can Improve Your Mental Health

"My 'inner child 'is only 1/8 of an inch from my outer skin" -- super-sophisticate cartoonist Don Mangus

Four Color #381 Marge's Tubby by John Stanley.

Five Ways Acting Like a Kid Can Improve Your Mental Health by Danielle Hark

Whether you suffer from depression or are just having a case of the winter blues, there are things you can do right now to help brighten your day. It's easier than you might think. Just pay attention to those little lessons you teach your kids.

1. Do something physical. Get out of your mind and into your body. Do yoga. Ride a bike. Or just stretch and take a walk. Anything to get your body moving. If you really want some fun, grab a hula hoop, dance around your living room, or play a game of hopscotch.

2. Get creative. You don't have to be a trained artist to make art. Do something creative, whether it is coloring on a napkin at a restaurant or taking a photo with your phone. The finished product doesn't matter -- it's about the act of being creative and looking at the world around you for little details and capturing them.

3. Self-soothe. Use your five senses. Taste. Smell. See. Hear. Touch. Taste a bite or two of something yummy. Smell for pleasant smells around you -- flowers, perfumes, lotions. Listen to calming sounds or music you like. Look for tranquil or beautiful sites to focus on -- perhaps a tree outside your window or a painting of an ocean. Keep a stone or something textured or comforting in your pocket to touch and ground you. Pet your pet. You can also use imagery, meditation or prayer. Guided visualization/meditation techniques or prayer can be incredibly soothing, or just imagine yourself on your favorite vacation. Close your eyes and feel the sun on your face and the sand under your toes.

4. Take care of your body. Eat well. Drink water. Keep a regular bed time. Take care of any physical problems. These are things that may seem small but can definitely affect your mood.

5. Have fun and be silly. Let your inner child (or real child) be your guide. Blow bubbles, play games, make a snow angel, or try to get a slinky down more than three steps. Not only is it fun to act like a kid, but it keeps you in the present moment, instead of ruminating on the past or future. So go wild. The possibilities are endless.

"Neat Trick" by Gil Elvgren.

What's Your Scope?

Wray Herbert Blog: Feeling Anxious? Think Again

by Wray Herbert. author of 'On Second Thought: Outsmarting Your Mind's Hard-Wired Habits'

The number one fear is public speaking, hands down. Pollsters have reported time and again that the average person dreads public speaking more than disease or even death. These polls merely confirm what our sweaty palms and elevated heart beat make undeniable: Standing up and addressing an audience brings out our worst fears about performance and failure and the judgment of others.

We all experience some measure of social anxiety, but some people suffer much more than others, and not just with public speaking. Dates, job interviews, even idle cocktail chatter -- any kind of social encounter can be a source of unbearable dread for people with a social anxiety disorder, or SAD.

Millions are debilitated by the emotional and physical arousal associated with this most common of mental disorders.

Despite the prevalence of SAD, however, a lot remains unknown about the disorder. While the negative emotions are a hallmark of clinical anxiety disorder, there is conflicting evidence about the physiological symptoms. Do sufferers really have maladaptive bodily responses to social stress, or do they just perceive it that way? An answer to this basic question would be helpful in guiding clinical intervention.

A team of psychological scientists has been exploring the interplay of thinking, attention and physiology in SAD. Jeremy Jamieson of the University of Rochester, Matthew Nock of Harvard and Wendy Berry Mendes of UC -- San Francisco designed two studies to sort out these aspects of the disorder and, beyond that, to test a simple intervention that might diminish the unpleasant symptoms of social anxiety.

Here's the background that sparked the scientists' inquiry. It's a popular belief that stressful arousal -- heightened blood pressure, heart rate and so forth -- accumulates over time, leading to poor health and disease down the road. But this is not entirely true. Stress can indeed be deleterious to people's health, but only if they see the stressful situation as a threat -- something they lack the inner resources to cope with. By contrast, if people see a stressful situation as a challenge to meet, their physiological response is different -- and not as harmful to the body.

In the first study, the scientists wanted to see if they could clarify the psychological and physiological aspects of SAD. They recruited volunteers, some of whom met the clinical definition of SAD, and deliberately confronted them with their worst fear -- speaking in front of judgmental strangers. They used a well-established social stress test, in which volunteers are required to prepare a short speech about their personal strengths and weaknesses, deliver it to an audience of two judges, and then recover from the experience. The judges were trained to give subtle but negative non-verbal feedback during the speech; they didn't smile or nod or otherwise indicate any kind of affirmation of the speaker's performance. Half of the volunteers -- both with SAD and without -- went through this stressful experience, while the remaining volunteers, the controls, gave their speech in private, without a judgmental audience.

During this experiment, all the volunteers were hooked up to monitors, which recorded their physiological reactivity. The scientists also measured the volunteers' vigilance for signs of threat, their negative feelings, and their appraisal of their own stress -- whether they saw it as a challenge or a threat.

Then they crunched all the data together.

The most surprising finding was that there was no significant difference between SAD sufferers and healthy controls on measures of arousal. That is, when required to speak before a judgmental audience, both showed high vigilance and the harmful kind physical arousal, compared to those who did not have to speak in public. Those with SAD reported more subjective anxiety and negative feelings, but on objective measures they were no worse off than healthy people in a highly stressful social situation.

Since this finding was unexpected, the scientists wanted to double-check it, but they also wanted to capitalize on it. If SAD sufferers' biological arousal is indeed disconnected from subjective feelings of anxiety, would it be possible to ameliorate the disorder simply by thinking about physical symptoms constructively? Perhaps they could be thought of as a resource that enhances performance, rather than a liability. This is what the scientists explored in a second experiment.

It was basically the same experiment, except that this time some of the volunteers were urged to reappraise their symptoms in a more positive way. Specifically, they were told this just prior to the speaking task: "In stressful situations, like public speaking, our bodies react in very specific ways. The increase in arousal you may feel during stress is not harmful. Instead, these responses evolved to help our ancestors survive by delivering oxygen to where it is needed in the body." They were explicitly encouraged to reinterpret their arousal as an adaptive response. The idea was that changing perceptions of arousal might mitigate anxiety.

And that's just what they found, and detail in a forthcoming article in the journal Clinical Psychological Science. Both socially anxious and healthy volunteers, when encouraged to see their bodily arousal as functional, improved on a number of measures. They still saw public speaking as stressful and personally demanding, but they saw themselves as more resourceful -- better able to cope with the social stress of speaking. What's more, their physiological response actually improved as well; it came to resemble the more adaptive, healthier kind of arousal. Finally, they were not so preoccupied with threatening cues in the world. This shift in attention, away from negativity, could be protective, diminishing the likelihood of reacting to new social threats in the future.

Wray Herbert's blogs -- "Full Frontal Psychology" and "We're Only Human" -- appear regularly in The Huffington Post.

Seven Ways to Escape Negative Thinking

by Dawn Gluskin

If you are finding yourself trapped in negative thinking patterns and want out, here are some tips to help break the cycle:

1. Embrace a willingness to change. Be open to a different way of thinking. This is a must and can only come from within. "No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." -- Buddha

2. Be able to face the truth. Nobody likes coming to terms with their own fears and negativity, but the only way to chase out darkness is to shine light on it. Free writing is a good way to get to the heart of these blocks. Be open and honest. Ask yourself: What is the negative story I've created for myself? How have I abused myself with my own thoughts? In your writing, you will find that, in our own minds, we can be downright nasty to ourselves sometimes!

3. Forgive yourself and others. Beating yourself up about past negative thoughts and behavior is a negative thought and behavior, and a counter-productive one at that. The same goes for holding grudges against others -- you are only hurting yourself by holding onto that negative energy. It's never too late to start again. Focus on letting go and being joyful in this present moment while embracing the endless possibilities of the future that lies ahead.

4. Choose an attitude of gratitude. We all have so much to be grateful for if we just take the time to look around and soak it all in. From the sun that rises each morning, to the ability to get out of bed and breathe in the air another day, and to being fortunate enough to have all of our basic needs met, we are surrounded by miracles. We, ourselves, are one. Appreciate!

5. Practice mindfulness. Become aware of your negative thoughts as they come. A meditation practice will help greatly in mindfulness training. You can also try this: Wear a special bracelet on your wrist. Each time you notice yourself having a negative thought, switch the bracelet to the other arm. At first, you might find yourself constantly switching the bracelet back and forth throughout the day. Those little negative buggers creep in constantly, from being stuck in traffic to experiencing a business deal that doesn't go as expected. But, over time, you will switch the bracelet less and less as you develop an increased awareness. By noticing these negative thoughts as they come, you can stop them from occurring as often and adopt a more positive mindset.

6. Be of service to others. Being able to help someone else in need is rewarding in itself, but it's also an incredibly humbling way to shift our own perceptions on life. We are more blessed than we know, and helping others who are struggling helps to put things into perspective.

7. Accept. There is only so much we can control in our daily lives. The act of accepting reality as it is dealt to us is completely liberating. Save your energy for what you actually have control over.
The good news: Those who are open to it and willing to put in the work can change negative thinking patterns and have a life beyond their wildest dreams! Just work on it one day at a time and you will begin to see the beautiful shift.

Play or Pay: Reframing Magnetic Poetry "Put-Downs"

OK everyone, let's keep those neurons "young" and the neural connections growing by playing and learning. I got a "Magnetic Poetry" "Put-Downs" Kit as a gift on Christmas Day.

Rather than construct the snarky "Put-Downs," as designed, I decided instead to practice a bit of "reframing" as often outlined in the CBT playbook. So, I tried to conjure up positive phrases and affirmations from the original sardonic phrase-set offered. Below is my first attempt at a few "poetic thoughts" and inspiring affirmations. It's amazing how many hours one can spend  messing around with "Magnetic Poetry" on one's refrigerator/freezer door.

My photo here is a bit small. Among the word jazz  riffs I've cobbled together from the magnetic blocks so far are:

"initial misconceptions are when your thoughts probe nothing."

"how about ignoring whatever insignificant panic rises to work?"

"imagine the gene pool and young train of thought are circuses where you never grow up."

"out of chaos inflatable spinning disorder."

"set aside a special time to change your mind and personality."

"I will cherish myself and big ideas."

"a nice window but not enough."

Maybe not genius but Groovedelic for a few hours play.